Getting Your Child to Use Their Words: Part 1

Does your child whine, cry, or just try to grab items from you when they want something?!? If they have not been taught how to ask appropriately, then engaging in behavior like crying and whining is how they are telling you what they want… and you probably give them what they want when they start to whine and cry, right?!? Your child has most likely learned, “When I cry, I get what I want.” Luckily, it’s never too late to start teaching your child how to use their words appropriately to ask for items and activities. Instead of just giving your child what they want, here are some hints and tips to increase appropriate requesting:

1. Create Motivation: If a child does not want the item, they probably aren’t going to ask for it. Think about it, if you just got home from a buffet and someone dangles a hamburger in your face to try to get you to ask for a “hamburger,” you probably won’t do it. Create motivation by keeping items in your control and having the child ask for them when you know they want it. For example, if your child hasn't eaten for a while, try using their favorite snack; if they haven’t played with their favorite toy that day, start with that.

2. Use Items Your Child Loves: This goes back to motivation… if they don’t want it, they won’t ask for it. The odds of your child appropriately using their words will be much higher if you use the items they love. This could be snacks, toys, games, or physical activities such as tickles, jumping, or swinging.

3. Teach Them How to Ask: Let’s pretend you’re trying to get your child to ask for more tickles (because that’s what they LOVE). Start by giving them some tickles and then stop. Model for them what to say, (ie. “tickles”) and withhold tickles until they say, “tickles.” If they make any approximation (eg. they say, “tih” for tickles), reinforce the behavior by giving them the item (in this case, more tickles). Repeat this over and over.

4. Speak at Their Level: If your child is not speaking at all, don’t expect them to start using full sentences from day one. Start with just one-word requests and model that for them… for example, “ball,” “car,” “run,” etc. (and don’t worry about “please” and “thank you” just yet… manners come down the line. First we just need to get your child asking for things without throwing a tantrum).

Keep your eye out for Part 2 of “Getting Your Child to Use Their Words”

Teaching language and communication is a huge part of ABA therapy. As always, consult with your doctor first to rule out any medical conditions, such as hearing impairment. If your doctor has ruled out medical conditions and you still feel concerned, feel free to contact us today to learn more about our intake process.